Right, that’s it. From now on I’m going to be an excellent Mother.

Today is one of those days where I woke up and thought to myself, “Today, I shall be excellent at Mothering. I shall not scream at my children, I shall not arse about and then be late for school drop off, I shall remember to read with my son as soon as we get in from school, I shall make a packed lunch for my son in preparation for tomorrow, I shall start dinner before 4.59pm and I WILL bath them!” So far so good, (apart from arsing about and being late and the screaming. There was a little bit of screaming…) but I still have the last and worst hours of the day to get through.

So let me tell you about the excellent things I did which have made me an excellent Mother today. I ignored Maisie when she decided that slow-mo was the only speed she could possible achieve on her balance bike on the way to school this morning. Amazingly she was neither stolen nor killed when I went ahead of her. Instead she caught up. Wow, what a revelation. Normally I just scream something like, “I can’t do this every morning Maisie, you are driving me mental, HURRY UP! I said HURRY UP! Why do you have to go slowly when we’re late? You’re soooooo annoying! Arghhhhhhh! Grrrrrrrrrarrr!!”

Err, ok that’s the only quite-good thing I’ve done today, but I’m definitely thinking more and more about being excellent. The trouble is, me. My disorganization means I’m usually a bit late, which means I’m usually a bit stressed, which means I’m usually a bit horrible to my children. What makes you late Emma? I hear you ask with genuine curiosity. Well, usually Candy Crush, or Bubble Witch Saga, or feeding my Dinosaurs, or checking out the deals on flash sale websites. Basically anything but getting on with being a mother. Why though? It doesn’t make sense, surely I’d have learnt by now that life is better when we’re on time and relaxed? But no I haven’t, look at the time now for example, it’s 3.04pm and I need to leave to pick up Sam, but I’m typing. What a twonk.

Anyway, gotta run!


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