I’ve broken my baby.

It’s official, I’ve broken Isabelle and not in an emotional/helpful/will now sleep through the night kind of way. A few months ago, in an attempt to sort her, “won’t sleep through the night” habit, we decided to just let her scream when she woke up at night. We’d go in once so she knew we were there and then tell her we wouldn’t come in again even if she kept on crying. It was horrific. For the first 2 nights she screamed for about 2 hours non stop and then after a few more days of crying between 1.5 hours and half an hour, it worked. The trouble though, is that 2 hours of full-on screaming is not good for a baby’s vocal chords and her voice, although always pretty deep, took on a new, sort of 60-Bensons-a-day croak.

On top of the scream induced ruination, there was also the incident with the dishwasher tab she sucked (have you called the social yet?) My Mum’s terrified that the tab has completely dissolved her throat and ruined her forever. So, in an attempt to appease Mum who has basically convinced me that Isabelle’s beyond repair, I took her to the doctors.

Now when you’re a new mother, it’s essential to visit A&E at least once a month for the first few months and thereafter the doctors for every sniffle and sneeze. When you’re a mother of three, your children have to be either unconscious or bleeding uncontrollably to warrant any medical attention. I think this, “pah, she’s fine” attitude is great most of the time as kids get ill and kids get better, but sometimes it takes someone who doesn’t see your child every day to see that medical attention might be a good idea.

Anyway, we’ve been advised not to let her scream at all if possible (er… ok). She currently has swollen tonsils and a fever, so we’re going back to see the doc in 3 weeks time when we’ll be able to see if there is still a problem with her tonsils when her illness has passed. If they’re still swollen then then we’ll take her to see a throat specialist. Poor little thing. I’ve given her a dummy which helps to stop her crying (just call me parent of the year) and some baby Nurofen to accompany the antibiotics. Now we just have to play the waiting game and hope she’s not destined for a life-time of Darth Vader voice over jobs. Ah guilt, my constant companion, come and give me a cuddle.

By the way, she has stopped sleeping through the night.

Again.

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4 thoughts on “I’ve broken my baby.

  1. My dear far away blog friend. Want to give you the biggest hug you deserve right now. Mommy guilt sucks. I am sure she will heal physically quicker than you will emotionally. I know the frustration you feel with the not sleeping. 3 years on and mine is still up at least once a night. No amount of any advise out there has helpped – so I have learnt to accept. That being said – it doesnt mean its easy. Much love to you xoxox

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